Wednesday, September 17, 2014

send help : booze + cardboard boxes

I had planned on writing some lengthy witty post with lots of photos
…… but ya know…. 
I opened a bottle of wine and sat on the couch and watched TV instead
life got in the way.  
so that will come next week :) 
because all that is happening right now is this : 

at the sight of all of this (this picture actually makes it look good……) 

the exciting news :: we bought our first place and are moving!! 

the sad news :: I'm leaving the amazing apartment I love and have called home for 5 years.  I do not do well with change, so even though I am so so excited and thrilled for the new home, it will be very difficult to leave.
no joke…. this will be me…. 

the fun fat kid news :: we've had pizza almost every night for dinner because we have packed everything and aren't going grocery shopping

the horrible pull my hair out news :: we're moving.  and moving sucks.  
my mom nance pants came up to help pack us this week and has been a life saver.  packing is way more fun with a fellow TV addict who approves of pizza and take out for dinner every night.
 I've been strangely good at bagging up bag after bag of things for good will, because my Lord my hoarding is just out of control.  

I'll have a great post with new pics of the place next week,
and then a post with me crying about all the memories I had in this apartment, and how I "grew up" while I lived here, and 9 million other Bachelor/Bachelorette cheesy ridiculous lines about my JOURNEY.
just kidding.  I'm not that pathetic
…. wait…. yes I am. 

but for real…. SOS.  Send booze.  The hard stuff.  Vodka.  Stat. 

oh ….. we also timed the closing of our place horribly as every weekend we are busy.
I consider myself a "planner".
want to know how great of a planner I am ? 
spoiler alert : UGHHHHH NOT GOOD. 
sooooo we close friday, have one of my very best friends rehearsals and rehearsal dinner friday night, then saturday the movers arrive -- -- I help start the move, then leave my husband and mother to finish it 

 while I go spend the day getting ready with the bride to be and the night celebrating the amazing wedding weekend of my bestie, and then he and I come home that night to sleep in a new home.

oh wait…. I get out of the majority of moving -- I may have planned this perfectly? 

for someone who handles change REAL WELL, I really make good life choices.
in addition to the weekend being jam packed,
 our street is closed off on our moving day.  
like, everywhere we need to be.
is not an option and it ain't gonna happen. 

stick with me people. 
 I'll make you feel good about your decisions and bad luck compared to mine. 

follow on instagram for wedding gorgeousness of the beautiful wedding and bride, 
 and for hideous moving-ness :) 

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gifs via

Thursday, September 11, 2014

coffee talk

discuss amongst ya-selves…… 
Bachelor in Paradise
I "can't even" with the finale.
there's so much to say and then nothing to say because it was that ridiculous. 
chris harrison walks in and acts super-bachelor-serious, 
as if anyone on the show is there for anything other than attention and crabs a hook-up.  
chris says if you accept the rose from your partner, basically you are getting married.
uh yeah. sure.
they act like its sophies choice and the girls all cry and get dramatic.
some stay, some leave. 
(and the ones that stay leave the next day.  probably on the same plane as the others. real dramatic chris harrison). 
seriously, what do these people do for a living? because you can't have a job when you are constantly leaving to go act slutty on national television every 2 months for 10 million people and your mom and your boss and everyone you know to see? 
oh wait. I know…. they have job title's like Ashlee's : A Personal Organizer.

The Michelle Money and Cody thing is the most obnoxious bunch of crap they have ever played out. 
New low of pathetic for her.
Really michelle???? Really???? Cody?? 
no…..but really…. REALLY?????  
michelle then goes on to act like her 10 year old daughters dating advice is similar to the words of nelson mandela.     

then comes the fantasy suite night……. 
Listening to all three of these "couples" talk about their nights in the fantasy suite is a new level of disgusting for this show.  How are you allowed to talk about this on TV? 
How many euphemisms can they come up with for "sex"? 
 Too many. 
sure, NOW they are able to form sentences and a vocabulary. 
truly though, I was thinking EAR MUFFS EAR MUFFS AHHHH. 

Also pathetic, bringing back the TOTALLY IN LOVE couples to interview them about if they are really in love.   Yeah….. because Bachelor couples should be the ones testifying what a true and lasting relationship is. Riiiiight. 

des just annoys the crap out of me. is she ever not showing her midriff? 
did you hear the way she pronounced POH-tential? ugh. PUH-lease des. 

Then….. the ringer…… literally…. 
Marcus PROPOSED to giant-eyes-giant-smile-doesnt-say-anything-lacey.
producers : marcus, we'll give you a giant expensive ring for free if you propose and show the neil lane box.

The three "successful" couples are watching this happen with HORROR.
  You can totally tell they are thinking "oh my GAWD! they don't even know each other! it has been TWO WEEKS."
Ha. Hypocrites.  
 At least the two of them spent every waking moment together for two weeks….. the other couples probably spent a total of 72 hours together before getting engaged.
Totally normal.
Did I just make an argument in favor of marcus and lacey's relationship? 
crap. I need to put my wine away….. 

On another note, one-arm-sweet-Sarah lost ALL OF HER SWEETNESS and talked about the night in the fantasy suite like all the other classless contestants on this show.  
SARAH!!! You were THIS-CLOSE to making it through the whole show without looking as bad as everyone else.  Shame on you!!!! 

Reality Steve posted the greatest thing ever that sums up every season of every bachelor show and why it aways STEAMS MY CLAMS.
the season previews are filled with NOTHING that EVER happens. lies!!!

Shows that I shouldn't like because they are ridiculous but I LOVE:
(um, other than everything I watch every night.) 
Rich Kids of Beverly Hills + Below Deck. 
Morgan is straight up funny.  
The rest of the rich bitches I can do without most of the time, but she's good with me. 

I love Kate on Below Deck.
Her and Arden (Jersey Belle) have won me over with their completely blank/slack face commentary in their confessionals while they say hilarious jabs.

kate : I think I have a bitchy resting face.  which is a real thing.
yes. it is.  and you both have it.  and I love it.

I'm still loving Jersey Belle
this weeks episode of  got us back on track with a full hour of amazing television and less baby talk. 
it was just too good seeing the southern girls in jersey with her jersey friends.
and there are no gifs from jersey belle to be found anywhere :( 
I need to learn how to make these myself…. 

can I just be danielle?  I want to be danielle. 
someone tell me how I can become danielle. 
I feel like before I say anything or do anything I should think WWDD, what would danielle do? her and her husband are just sweet as pie and I want to eat them up with a spoon.  

rumor has it kristin wiig is dating scott speedman
REMEMBER SCOTT SPEEDMAN??!!! he was such a dreamboat on felicity. 
well done Kristin.  well. done. 

sorry I blabbed on for way too long about Bachelor In Paradise.
 They just get me SO worked up somehow every week
It drained me of all my bitching for much else.  
ugh. damn you chris harrison!!! 

ps. I just looked over at my husband on pinterest.
me : (see horrific mugshots of people) WHAT are you looking at?
kip: before and after meth pictures. in the science section.
me: On Pinterest? What? Why?
kip: it's just fascinating.  look at them! 

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn't do that day and likely won't do the next day either.  or the day after that.

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Wednesday, September 10, 2014

the simple life

there really is no reasoning for this post at all,
which is how I could start basically every post on this blog, 
except that last night I got sucked into the black hole of the internet (every. night)
when I saw a gif from The Simple Life.

it led me down an amazing path of videos and gifs of what was one of the greatest shows of all time.
so we'll pretend its #waybackwednesday or whatever the annoying instagram hashtag is. 
(don't you think we can keep it to throwback thursday or even flashback friday? we don't need EVERY damn day of the week.  but being the hypocrite that I am, I'm using it.) 

every episode was so good.

 honestly though, what did we do before nicole richie? 

after I'm not even going to tell you how long to try to save some dignity, I managed to pull myself together and close the computer.
I'm now considering a blog series reminiscing the amazing and hilarious shows we used to watch…. 
soooooo basically an excuse for  me to laugh at gifs. 
what do you think?

I feel like no one would enjoy that but me…. 
which means I'll likely do it to keep myself entertained.  

who else laughed their heads off at this show, 
and what other shows do we wish played every night on repeat? 
and how stupid was this post :) ? 

gifs via realitytvgifs 

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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

lust list

lusts for the week…….. 

I got this scarf recently and am in love with it. 
I have worn it at least 15 times already. 
love this polka dot scarf as well! 

{blue bird silk top}
I'm on a solid silk top kick lately. 
and I wish I was fun enough to wear leopard shorts…. this combo makes me feel like I could.

really making me ready to do leopard, ms. kate spade.
{kate spade dipped scarf} perfect pop of color + print. 

okay sorry, sorry - one more animal print…. these are so cute.

a nice upgrade to my basic jewelry
the diamond + pearl have a wait list, but these pearl back + pearl are available now 

these heels are only $85!!!!! so. damn. cute. 

a cute everyday fall piece for under $40 

{generation love jacket} 
I could maybe be okay with cold weather wearing this 

they already did the layering for ya…… 

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