Tuesday, June 30, 2015

:: crack of the week : 4th of July Edition ::

I seriously cannot believe the 4th of July is this weekend,
and not just in a regular "I can't believe it!" but because I have been still wearing jeans and sweaters at night here in Chicago. 
Mama needs to break out all of her dress wardrobe at some point, and I have been patiently waiting for about 11 months now! Good Lord! AH! Profanities Galore! 
My skin is practically translucent and there isn't enough self tanner in the world to help me at this point. 

So you may remember I posted about my friends Watermelon Feta Salad that she made for her Memorial Day BBQ.  It was so adorable and also so tasty and refreshing. 
I found another version that looks equally delicious, but possibly more because it has more cheese - and mainly : mozzarella.  I love caprese salad and mozzarella, so I'll be making this version for a different twist for our 4th of July BBQ. 

:: watermelon caprese with balsamic glaze ::

Servings: 8 • Size: 1 salad • Old Pts: 3 pts • Weight Watcher Points+: 3 pt

Calories: 119 • Fat: 7.5 g • Carb: 7 g • Fiber: .4 g • Protein: 5.5 g • Sugar: 6.5 g

Sodium: 90 mg • Cholesterol: 20 mg 


  • 1/2 red seedless watermelon, sliced 1/2 inch thick (calculated with 16 oz)
  • 8 thin slices fresh mozzarella (1 oz each)
  • 1 loose cup baby arugula
  • 2 tsp extra virgin olive oil
  • kosher salt
  • 2 tbsp balsamic glaze 


Use a 4-inch star-shaped cookie cutter (or any shape) and cut 16 stars out of the watermelon (about 1 oz each). Save the excess watermelon for another use.
Arrange the watermelon on a platter, then layer with cheese, arugula, 1/4 tsp olive oil and a pinch of salt on each. Top with a final star, drizzle each with balsamic glaze and serve.

a simpler option, for a little less work or lack of a star shaped cookie cutter,
just cube the feta and watermelon and display in the shape of the flag with a side of blueberries 

some of my other favorite summer sides can be found under the recipe tab above..
a few years ago I made my Layered Mexican Salad for a big party we had for the 4th and it was a hit. 
I also love this cold Greek Tortellini Salad.  Any pasta salad is a must in my book for a BBQ. 

My sister is coming in town to stay with us for the weekend! 
It will be the first time she's been to our new place so I'll be cleaning and prepping for her arrival Thursday and for a fun weekend of festivities. 
lets just say she still talks about how gross my first post-college apartment was with my girlfriends…. and she's not exactly wrong, it was like a frat house…. but in our defense we were having way too much fun and going out way too much to care about housework….  so there is extra pressure to make sure it's "grown up married lady pretending I'm an adult clean". 

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Thursday, June 25, 2015

:: coffee talk ::

discuss amongst ya-selves…… 

I have caught some kind of god awful viral infection, but instead of remembering viral means you can do nothing, I'm still attempting to kill everything in my insides with every vitamin I own, herbs and teas, cold meds and nasal sprays.  I can barely keep my eyes open and feel like I'm high as a kite, so my half-assed half-written post is going to be published as is.  it could make it worse, or a whole lot better. you be the judge. 
sorry I'm not sorry

:: the bachelorette :: 
soooooo I basically missed the entire show because of extreme weather and tornado watches in other parts of Illinois.  (I'm not that horrible of a person, I know tornados and peoples lives are more important than this god forsaken television BS but still…..I meannn it was the episode we'd all been waiting for COME ON) I spent the night listening to 20 seconds of the show and then 97 interjections from the weather girl.  Ummmm how many times do you need to say "get away from doors/windows" and "don't go outside"??? WHO DOESN'T KNOW THIS? I meannnn didn't we all see Twister!? 

and, I'm sorry, but if the people that NEED to be taking shelter are sitting there listening to you repeat this, then it's too late for them anyway.  Put two and two together and the only people watching you are PEOPLE WATCHING THE BACHELOR.

soooo I missed all the first-date-sex-sounds everyone is talking about,  
but it's okay…… because I have something even better nastier…..
my googling skills are INSANE. 
     left : serial killer eyes whore face nick      
   right : crazy doctor from ghostbusters 
let this photo also display how unattractive nick is 

Nicks serial killer eyes are back and I just DO NOT understand his charm. 
 There is NOTHING sexy about him.  Look at that picture up there.  Please…. explain to me why this would illicit doing it on national TV whilst mic'd. 

What is up with funerals on reality shows lately? 
First they do a eulogy for David and Shannon on RH of OC and now we have to do one on The Bachelor? 
Why? Why is this entertaining ABC? WHY? 
(WHY WHY to be read in the voice of Rachel on Friends imitating her boss Joanna when Chandler won't call : 
WHY hasn't he called he said he would call WHY WHY rachel WHY)
  Chris Harrison, let's go back to picking the person thats afraid of heights and making him scale a building or jump off a bridge.  That was fun. 
But really, my opinion remains the same about the scandalous coitus between Nick and Kaitlyn. 

 If you want to sleep with guys on the first date, yes ou are right Kaitlyn, that's your prerogative.   And no, you aren't the first contestant to do "it", but most close their legs to married men can keep their legs closed until fantasy suite with no cameras and it's final round.  Perhaps don't go on the national television to "meet your husband" and still be dating 10 other guys and telling others you are falling in love with them and then sleep with a guy on the first date while you know there is a camera man standing outside your bedroom door and gets all the sound on tape too. 
but totes my opinion. you do you girl.  or do…. everyone.  whatever. 

:: RHOOC :: 
Tamra has found God. 
Or in her words, she started going to church
"and if you don't like it, you can suck it" 
Oh my.  
Perhaps she hasn't quite figured the whole thing out just yet.  

:: RHONY :: 
This trip is going to be SO MUCH BETTER than Scary Island and Kelly Bensimon.
Carol, with a camera the whole trip in hand,
 "I  decided to document our weekend away! So much happens!"
Did you take some of Sonja's drugs?  YOU HAVE A CAMERA CREW. I just can't. 

Bethenny makes a menopausal AC joke and says its like supermarket sweep (supermarket sweep!!!!! the best!!!!) picking bedrooms with these broads
and just like that….. Bethenny is back on my good side 
I could marathon this show right now I am laughing so hard.
I just watched way too many clips of this show - so many people with 80s haircuts and mom jeans.  Heaven. 

But I spoke too soon.
Then bethenny tells heather to "only do workout clothes, its an untapped market" and tries to educate her at her own job…. I meannnnnn…..  
but NO ill be nice and focus on the funny supermarket sweep joke an lay off her this week….. I'll focus my annoyance on carol with the 2002 video camera while a camera crew follows their every move and focus my joy on getting to watch ramona parade around in a bikini with lucite heels. 
:: mazel of the week :: 
big bro drinking game : BUT FIRST………CAMERA ANGLE CHANGE 

nothing signifies that summer has arrived more than the ChenBot gracing my screen every Wednesday Thursday and Sunday :) 

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn't do that day and likely won't do the next day either.  or the day after that. 
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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

:: wishlist wednesday :: wedding season ::

wedding season has arrived.
or if you're like me, you are smack dab in the middle of it.
5 weddings in 2015 down, 5 more to go! 
I sadly proudly did not buy a new outfit for every wedding like I usually did in the past; 
after last years "year of the weddings" for all my BFF's + our own wedding, honeymoon, and home purchase, I found a way to reuse a few things around different groups of people.  
(what that really means is that I got married,
 so now I can't freely spend all my own money like I want….. 
I have to do things like
 "pretend to be responsible" 
and "pretend that I am excited to save for our future" 
and hide the UPS packages from my husband when I beat him home from work

all you young, single ladies, rejoice that you do not have to do these things.  
I know you're thinking "single or not, you should be saving". 
and to that I say I'm sorry, who are you, my husband? 
booze, food and fashion are all I have in this life!!!!
but I digress……. 

one of my favorite looks for wedding season is a dressy maxi skirt + top. 
but not the "crop top" top… unless it is a tiny little sliver, 
I say save the midriff for non-wedding events.
plus, it's more bang for your buck with pieces that can be re-worn in many ways.
(read: UGH the whole married and savings account thing again)
I love this tibi-esque skirt with a more manageable price tag. 
I could not be more obsessed with this skirt. 
{ printed skirt }  and I also love this preppy solid navy with a bow 

here is a striped steal version for under $60 from lulu's 
{ striped skirt }
I love lulu's for affordable dresses and skirts; 
they have so many options that always look like great copy cats of the designer finds. 
this purple contrarian-knock-off was under $50 that I wore to a wedding a few years ago from there

these tops can go from wedding dress to full wedding skirt to midi skirt to plenty of other looks
{ striped top } 
{ solid top } 

I love solid strapless maxis for summer weddings ;
you can make them work for any dress code
{strapless ambrosia dress} 

{colorblock maxi} 

this color, this cut, this style : worth the extra bit of money.
it is PERFECTION for any wedding, any time. 
{ knot draped maxi } 
and parker always makes the perfect printed maxi that still feels formal, ideal
 for an outdoor tented reception 
{parker maxi dress} 

For more casual or daytime weddings, 
I keep being drawn towards the colorful prints, like floral and ikat. 
{ikat print sleeveless dress} 

{printed maxi}

{printed sleeveless dress}

and if all else fails, go with basic black and add some accessories. 
{ black with lace detail }

for a black tie wedding, a killer black gown will be the best money you ever spend.
I have a go-to Navy (seen below, worn last year and 4 years ago and to be worn later this year as well) and Black formal gown and I still couldn't be more obsessed with them - worth every single penny. 

Also, shopbop has an extra 25% off sale items right now with some amazing summer dresses going fast! 

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Tuesday, June 23, 2015

:: book club ::

I haven't had much time to read lately, between watching endless hours of television, spending too much money on our trip to Italy (no such thing!), and seeing if anyone updated anything on instagram for the 5th time that day, 
but I'll be flying home this upcoming weekend so I know I will finally be able to finish The Liar and I can't wait.   I've loved it so far. 
There are so many books on the must-read list, but I always have a hard time deciding what genre to go to next.  Serious, chick-lit, suspenseful, non-fiction? 
The one thing that I have grown to love over the last few years is celebrity autobiographies.
Clearly if you read this blog, this should come as no shock that reading about celebrities intrigues me, but its more that I read about people whom I really know nothing about;  people who I of course know what they are famous for, but did not know anything about their past life.  This mainly applies to people of my parents generation where I can't believe I didn't know all these certain things about them that everyone did when they were younger stars. 
I think that Andre Agassi's book Open was my first celebrity autobiography and I loved it.
I've read all of Chelsea Handlers and laughed so, so hard.
I've written before about how I read Rob Lowe's book and could not put it down.  I really liked how each chapter was its own kind of story but that it was also a full book that kept you turning the pages.

I did Bethenny's book A Place of Yes on tape when I used to commute and really enjoyed it, but whom I now have an even harder time with because it's liiiiiiiike you seriously need to be a grown up and can't keep blaming everything on your horribly sad and messed up childhood.
Especially after reading her first book and always watching her shows, I find it very strange that in the midst of this huge, horrible divorce she releases a second book called I Suck At Relationships So You Don't Have To: 10 Rules for Not Screwing Up Your Happily Ever After.

How can she be writing about not screwing up your happily ever after when she has done nothing but that her entire adult life (all she talks about in earlier books) and despite a lifetime of therapy keeps doing it?
Huh? I know I'm hard on her lately because she keeps pissing me off so much but I seriously think that is the weirdest thing ever.  Ever. 'haha I'm bad at relationships so lets make an ironic book about it haha'.  I seriously don't get it? 

Obviously I read both of my -boyfriend-Andy-Cohen's books (Most TalkativeThe Andy Cohen Diaries)  faster than anything and just adored them.  Devoured them.  Would totally re-read them.

These are the books I blow through the fastest and love every minute. There are so many I still haven't gotten to, and I think they will make for some perfect easy summer reading.
Candice Bergen      Brooke Shields      Jane Fonda
I have no shame in my obsession with J. Lo and Jane Fonda. 
I can't explain it, but I'm obsessed. Judge all you want, my best friend is very disappointed in me for my J. Lo love. 
Jennifer Lopez

and then some comic relief as well…… all must-reads that I still have not read!
    Amy Poehler                         Mindy Kaling                         Lena Dunham                            

I meannnnn is it wrong that I would even read Holly Madison's book at this point?
yes….. yes it is…….horrifyingly wrong.  

soooo I know everyone is saying The Good Girl should be next on the list after reading Gone Girl and Girl on the Train which I have, but other than that, what else are your top picks?
And for those of you that read The Good Girl, is it as good as everyone is saying?

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Monday, June 22, 2015

:: summer stripes ::

hope you all had a great weekend!! 

we had another wedding weekend,
 and I broke out a new dress that I can tell will be a summer favorite.

this dress is perfect for any summer event, from weddings to the 4th of July to casual summer BBQ with flip flops.  The back detailed is so pretty and the fit and flare shape makes its flattering on everyone! Plus, the price tag cannot be beat! It's a steal! 


I had Kipper snap these pics while we waited for our Uber, and this last one implies that the uber driver had arrived.

I saw this adorable navy and white dress this weekend, and while I wouldn't wear it to a wedding because its too much skin for me for that occasion, I would love to wear it to anything else! 

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