Friday, June 24, 2016

:: COFFEE TALK ::

discuss amongst ya-selves...... 

:: RHoDallas Reunion :: 
I really felt all the feels for Brandi at this reunion.
She was sitting there so quiet and meek.... and hearing about how her kids got kicked out of school for her behavior and for calling wine jesus juice made me sad.
she just seems so broken :(

I was SHOCKED at how much Cary cried?! 
I understand why - just was surprised
She's so "I don't give an Eff" on the show? 
and LeeAnne literally admits to NOTHING.
\ you say you were repeating the rumors you heard and you tweeted things about Cary having an affair, but no, you didn't ever accuse them of having an affair? 
WHA? 
She literally won't up to ANYTHING. 
I mean, she even defends that "her definition of killing someone and your definition of killing someone are two different things" so I don't know why this surprises me. 

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen is like well then what did your tweet mean? 
she's like "oh that's proof you shouldn't drink and tweet" 
and then at the end of the the Cary/Mark/Affaird debacle where she's such a betch, she's like "can i have a hug Cary? because I feel your pain?"
SERIOUSLY?????? 
right after staring at her husband and saying this is the meanest voice with the meanest face possible: 

and then MARIE comes out - eyes wide and terrified. 
damn I love her navy bow shoulder dress

LeeAnne : "you are who you walk into the charity world with"
Well, your best friend Tiffany is doing soft core porn on Skinemax!? Sooooo talking about poop or doing porn...hmmmm... which is a worse representation?
as someone who despises potty talk, I never thought I'd be defending all of these poop conversations 

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen's best line of the night
"in all the hours of filming housewives I've never asked something like this: did you poop in a bag?" 
LeeAnne : "No, I pooped in a basket" 
The other couch with the sense of humor is cracking up and saying "that's awesome that's amazing", and LeeAnne is like giggling and smiling like "I know right ha it's so funny now?"  Well, then why are you still wanting to kill Marie over it? 

Then LeeAnne continues her story (but, NEVER call it a story, only she can call it that, remember?) about this horrifying event of her boyfriend trying to murder her. 

Sooooo explain to me how someone who has almost been killed, someone whose boyfriend attempted murder, says things like "I'm going to kill you" and defends it as if its some trivial sentence? 

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE.  NO. WORDS. 

Marie is clearly delusional, and rich, because she hired an entire social media team to be in charge of instagram and twitter and wrote a nursery rhyme about LeeAnne's poop-gate. 
and I WANT TO HEAR IT! 
found it! 
watch the video of marie reading it HERE 

But seriously, Marie, I now understand why you were BFF with LeeAnne because GIRL you are nuts.  It would have been SO easy for you to be the high road friend who was threatened to be killed and sat on the couch nicely and quietly, but now you're acting cray! 
Perhaps LeeAnne's best "I'm the victim" line of the night, referring to Austin death threats: 
"not only were y'all scared, I was scared too" 
(WHAAATTTT!!!)
and she starts "crying" with no tears coming down AT ALL and just the high squeaky voice. 
She continues the "crying "and voice cracking with no tears saying "I'm still that little girl" 
OH and then my-boyfriend-andy-cohen's second best line "and you're in anger management?"
nodding, no tears. 

I say it every week and I mean it.
LEEANNE LOCKEN IS THE CRAZIEST SCARIEST HUMAN IN HOUSEWIVES HISTORY.
and one more time for good measure
Charity (DRINK!) 

:: RHoOC :: 
I'm super excited this is back.... but not that much to report just yet.
Megan King Edmonds husband Jimmy is still a selfish jerk and I don't understand how she doesn't see any of it OR does see it and puts up with it.

"Jimmy said he didn't want any more kids, and I told Jimmy I would leave him, so he said he'll have a kid so I don't leave him" Giant smiles from Megan.
GIRL? NO! 
Did anyone see the Unseen Footage from Season 8 Special that they played?
Because Vicki looked amazing
like. AH MAZING. never better. 

:: bachelorette :: 
Chad's gone so now everyone is going after everyone else.
come back chad! now we miss you! 

Wells for the next Bachelor! 
a Protein Powder funeral? He's hilarious I love him

and I for one am NOT okay with them ganging up on sweet little Derek.
I liked Chase - no more. And Chase and little Alex need back the eff up.
and Alex...seriously... I was liking you and you seemed nice.... but you really outta stop calling people little bitches.... because we all watched you JUMP onto that high chair to sit with Jojo a few weeks ago.  You can't be wee man and mean man - lock it up. 

and seriously Robbie? Saying "I love you" on your FIRST one on one date?
WHAT? 

be a normal bachelor looney tune and just say "falling" in love until the final 3 fantasy suite week where you say "in love".... everyone knows that!!! 

also, how did I miss this comment?
and HOW was Evan on that long?
It was just getting mean people - he was seriously thinking she was going to mother his 4 children.  It was getting RULL weird. 

But, back to Chad. 
via
chad posted and instagram kissing robbies ex and was on kimmel talking about it. 
this guy is just seriously searching for attention and 7 minutes in the spotlight. 
AND THANK GOD BECAUSE....... DRUMROLL.....
Chad is on Bach in Paradise 3 !!!!!! 

I'm like ADD spazzing out all over it so excited for Bach in Paradise that I no longer care at all about Bachelorette.
not really, but you know. 

:: southern charm :: 
these people are truly insane.
I feel like I say that about a lot of shows..... like my first sentence in every post about every show.....but oh well it's true 

one of my favorite things is the several comments on how they didn't even get to eat any of the amazing food and everyone left before the salad, which was literally all I could think about last week during the meltdown. 

of course Thomas can't understand why everyone left! why are they so sensitive! him hurling his face screaming and spitting at them through the gate should have shown them he wanted them to come back inside and sit down to dinner? 
ps - ew to the end of the night when Thomas is like "hey... kathryn... wanna sleep over? and she says YEAH" 
first of all... I've never birthed a child and I'm no doctor, but I don't think thats allowed and please for the love of God quit procreating with one another. 
and then later when he butters her up to keep her happy with "you're so wise and intuitive beyond your years."
kathryn : "Thank you for seeing that, yes, I've always known that."

OK wait I want that oxygen therapy mask that Patricia has.
and why does she have a purple Dior fur? I know when you're that rich you don't need a reason, but really, why? 
better question : why does Landon pick the purple and why does Patricia let her? 
even better question : why must all these Charleston people wear fur there is no possible way you need a floor length fur coat people??? 
but I digress...... 

 I love when Kathryn talks about her "calmly" talking to Landon about the Thomas situation - you have never talked calmly in your damn life! 
Is this like how you don't understand why people think you don't behave well in social settings?  We've yet to see you sane in ANY of them. 
especially at the Founders Ball.... 

So: Finally! Founders Ball! The made up ball by Cooper who is openly gay but requires everyone attend the first time he did this as "woman escorted by a male" or else they couldn't come.
Seriously? 
Although it sounds like he finally realized the hypocrisy of it because people aren't only man + woman dates this year.
She brings Landon's friend as his date!!!! WHAT!!!! Shep!!! Not cool bro.  You're better than that.
also, shep's date looks like the actress that plays Amy in Gone Girl and its giving me the chills. 

Kathryn feels the need to upstage her attire for Thomas' Dinner from Hell (Floor length green gown, black fur, elbow length black gloves, giant gold cuffs on each wrist) with a BRIGHT RED dress with a cape that flows behind her as she walks.
I mean, in one sense, can't miss it.  Girl loves an entrance.  She is always the last one to arrive to any damn thing. 
kathryn wants everyone to know she fears no one and nothing and wants them to know it instantly so she, as a red head, wears a bright red dress and slaps on a bright red lip to go with it.  
OH and like these GIANT gold leather hand wraps on each hand.
seriously girl. wow. 
 
and then it gets great IMMEDIATELY.  
kathryn tells thomas to shoo and go mingle, he greets landon (cough and obviously puts his hand on her ass) and IT IS ON. 
Kathryn bring Landon outside to talk.
Kathryn says "first of all I want you to know this is not a mean conversation"
Landon, over the blasting music : "what? I can't hear you?"
Kathryn : ENRAGED!!!! FUMING.  legit smoke out of ears.  it's time to throw down.
Me: hysterically laughing and slapping the couch! this girl is made for TV. 
Kathryn : you propositioned Thomas! 
Landon: I did nothing! 
Kathryn : Goes A-Wol.  Nuts.  Talking so much crap. And then is like "Landon YOU are crazy I'm walking away".
Me : grinning ear to ear WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! 
outside the party:
Landon: I've done nothing
Kathryn : Then you're fucking crazy
DROPS MIKE

now if only Landon hadn't done a socialite southern "time to go now dah-ling" weird ass thing at the end it would have been so much better. 

what is Kathryn going to do at the reunion?! 
especially since the last line was she's date saying "I wonder if Landon will ever admit to sleeping with Thomas" 

:: #RKOBH :: 
how AH-MAZING was Morgan's wedding dress? 
gorgeous. 



I can't. 
Stunning. 

:: jackhole of the week :: 
whattayaknow 
its a Kardashian! 
18 YEAR OLD kylie jenneris selling her first purchase of a 2.7 million dollar mansion (now selling for $4 million) because it was merely a starter home.  I mean, she can't possibly stay in that hell hole! She bought it when she was 16! 
She's now buying a $6 million dollar

:: mazel :: 
BIG BROTHER IS BAAACKKKKKKKKKK
 

EDITORS NOTE : 
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry

I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn't do that day and likely won't do the next day either.  or the day after that.
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Thursday, June 23, 2016

:: so many shows, so little time ::

Those of you that have
  no social life 
an unhealthy relationship with your television like I do
had time to catch a little tube this week
may have noticed that this was practically the busiest TV week of the year thus far. 
I mean..... even seasoned pro's like myself could barely keep up.

And then you throw a ceiling leak and a DVR that didn't tape a few things (don't even get me started) so you have to actually watch it on demand with these things called "commercials" (gasp! the horror!) and it was all I could do to survive.
And THEN,
 Big Brother premiered with a two hour premiere (only Part I, still more two hours to come tomorrow)
and suddenly I'm laying in bed with more anxiety from those damn competitions (3! already!?) and the multiple twists Julie Chen layed on us on night one than I had waking up from that dream in college where you forgot to drop a class and don't realize it until the day of the Final Exam.
did you follow that last part? 


but seriously.... my head is spinning.
I've got lots of my "special short hand notes" ready and waiting for my "editing" (aka semi-read the post maybe once at midnight so the 546 typos and grammatical errors  are reduced down to 327) because there is just so much good stuff happening in the TV world right now. 
Hashtag Blessed 
  
so return tomorrow for a TGIF edition of Coffee Talk.... or should I say, a TGIC!!! 
see.... this is why I can't possible do it tonight.  

Instead, I leave you with some real housewives parodies because I saw a clip of Amy Schumer's and it got me thinking about Hotwives of Orlando ( amazing) and how I *still* have not watched Hotwives of Las Vegas.   if you haven't seen the Hotwives parodies yet, grab yourself a hangover, some Chik-fil-A with 27 dipping sauces because they're so nice they really give you one of every kind and YES you dip a fry in every one, and your comfiest sweatpants to fit all of that Chik-fil-Aand thank me this weekend.  

editors note : this must be on a Saturday of course because of Chik-fil-A closed on Sunday, so if you MUST do it on Sunday, I suppose you can pick another place with inferior waffle fries.  

warning : the amy schumer one gets a little NSFW with that one word I can't stand being said like 27 times but ya know, all in housewives humor good spirit. 







Amy Housewives Audition
click here for the other clips where my-boyfriend-andy-cohen hosts the reunion



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Wednesday, June 22, 2016

:: wish list wednesday ::

lusts for the week....... 

I am in love with these floppy sun hats! 
some aren't in the budget : 

do not disturb  //  wish you were here  //  fiesta not siesta

but here is an adorable super-steal 
super steal : come sail away sun hat


my latest Rocksbox set has a gorgeous pair of Kendra Scott earrings I've been wearing constantly. 

:: Kendra Scott earrings :: 
and don't forget, you can get your first month free at Rocksbox with code tayloroshayxoxo
after that its only $19/month for 3 gorgeous pieces you can swap out as often as you like! 

I ordered this BB Dakota skirt the second I saw it! 
The print, the slit.  I loved it everything about it. 
When they came, I realized I never read the title and they were actually pants (whoops!) that look like a skirt except when you walk.  I still loved them, but the fit wasn't as flattering so back they went. 
calantha pants

so when I saw the same print in a dress,
I snagged it.  

dress here and dress here selling fast
found it here in all sizes still for now! 
dress runs TTS or a little big up top, 
can size down if you want to because of elastic waist

another season, another chambray! 
my favorite chambray top has gotten super worn, so I thought I would try this J.Crew one when they had one of their big online sales.
I love it - it is super thin so a great summer weight and super soft. 
runs a little bit - size down a size

I love Old Navy Active apparel - today they have a 30% off sale sitewide and free shipping! 
this tank is too cute 
:: gym hair don't care :: 
and I tried three different pairs of white shorts last week that all failed miserably, 
so maybe I'll give these white boyfriend shorts a try this week - can't beat the price! 

love a good white summer dress
:: white scrappy dress :: 


on my computer all of my text is not centered? 
and my instagram widget is down? 
my apologies - I have no idea how to fix either of these :)
 I tried with instagram for an hour and failed miserably! 

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Tuesday, June 21, 2016

:: where's a man when ya need him? ::

never say "where's a man when ya need him?" when talking about something trivial like taking the garbage cans down or up the driveway.... because you will regret it. 

Kip and I are staying with my mom while we are House Hunting
and he is on a business trip for the week. 
(PARTY TIME) 

whilst having to do his Monday duty of rolling the trash cans up I jokingly commented "wheres a man when ya need him?"

several hours later, I am preparing a lovely pre-bachelorette dinner of spaghetti with Rao's sauce (CRACK) because Kip doesn't like spaghetti (seriously who did I marry) so we are SUPER excited for a full night of TV and spaghetti on the couch.

my moms like "TAYLOR COME LISTEN TO THIS"
I'm like "IM COOKING THE SPAGHETTI WHAT??"
and she's like "I KEEP HEARING A WEIRD NOISE!"
.... we yell from room to room rather than walking over... its fun....

....so I step away from the boiling water and hear a drip.  I'm like Oh Lordy that sounds like water.  We walk the first floor then walk up the stairs and see a lovely soft line in the ceiling in the foyer with water dripping onto the carpet.  

You know when these things happen?  When your husband is out of town, and also your sisters husband is out of town for business for the week, and also your moms best friends husband is out of town for business. All 3 of whom could have been available within 5 minutes.

I climbed up in the attic ( I mean..... I'm totally an adult.  It was terrifying )and saw that an AC unit was right where it was leaking. 
We were told (by a man who damn it where are ya when I need ya?) to turn off the AC because they thought it was that so we did that and ate.

I walk upstairs 20 minutes later and the giant bowl is full of water and the line has spread to another part of the upstairs hallway.  I was like 

WHYYYYYYYYY.
so we call another husband of my moms friend and he runs right over and THANK GOD.
There was like water overflowing in the tray under the AC unit and we had to use rags one at a time to collect water and then ring them out in this huge stock pot, and then empty the stock pot and keep going for a full hour.  It was mayhem.

So the ceiling is split and its a mess but the ceiling didn't cave in which it certainly was on its way towards so I call it a SUCCESS! 

Who needs a man! 

Oh.... we do.  

The biggest travesty...... all we got to watch was The Bachelorette! 
HAHSTAG SOS

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Monday, June 20, 2016

:: southern charm homes ::

Happy First Day of Summer!!!! 
image

There's just so much on TV tonight!  I can hardly contain myself.

bachelorette is finally back, southern charm finale night, Odd Mom Out premieres, and The Real Housewives OC season premiere is back! all TONIGHT!
preview clip below of odd mom HERE - I have been waiting SO long for this to come back.

and then Wednesday kicks off Big Brother for the summer which you may know is just THE BEST and drives my husband so crazy that he started watching with me two years ago :) it's on 3 nights a week so theres really no way to avoid it!

I had wanted to share Thomas Ravenel's insanely gorgeous new Charleston home that we got to see so many glimpses of last week during Thomas' Dinner from Hell.

of course the only photos I can find look like stills from the show, so it doesn't do any of it justice, but my goodness it was unreal seeing a lot of it last week.  the millwork and detail everywhere was stunning. 


Landon's always looks amazing as well, but Bravo only has similar images to T-Rav's which I think are stills from the show. 
I would kill for built ins and moldings like these old homes have. 



one house we do have great images of, Patricia's of course!




also, have I been living under a rock?
because Jennifer is PREGNANT? (link)
I'm like ummmmm who is the baby daddy?? because if you say Thomas, I somehow won't be surprised, but really I just can't deal.
via her instagram jennifersnowden

but not to worry, T-Rav is (for now) still just a baby daddy of two.

its her on and off boyfriend of 10 years or something like that.
apparently her baby has already been diagnosed with a brain disorder :( so sad

and just because we were talking about Southern Charm pad's , heres a clip of her home that was in that same article.

CHEERS to hours upon hours of TV tonight!!!! 
but, remember kids
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