Coffee Talk

discuss amongst ya-selves...... 

The Bachelorette: 

FINALLY.  This week was goo-oooo-oood. 

Arie {the race car driver} is definitely my favorite to win at the moment.  They are so cute together, and she's clearly crazy about him, sneaking kisses from him at the rose ceremony night. 

Kalon continues to douche it up.

(insert giant smile on my face)

via

 "I love it when you talk, but I wish you'd let me finish"

Kick. Him. In. The. Nuts.

But please don't eliminate him, obviously.


Ryan - really, really obnoxious.  Please eliminate immediately.

you can tell he thinks his stuff smells like roses.
And Ryan - you can't outright tell a girl you won't date her if she gets fat.  You need to wait until you are IN A RELATIONSHIP before you can start dropping bombs like that and pretend you are being sarcastic.   
Everyone knows that. 
Oh wait.... or NEVER. 

The "compromise guy" with the horrifying hair..... Allesandro. 

It was like he said her daughter was a compromise 97x.

I loved when she said "Me having a daughter isn't a compromise - it's the biggest bonus in the entire world."  And he says "no, no, no I don't see it that way". 
The only way I see it is you are ugly and should leave. 
{All I could think about was that it was the asshole version of Monica looking at Richard about the having kids talk and her saying "if you hadn't just said 'if I had to' 100 times.... I would be saying yes."
but obviously Allesandro is no Richard.}

god I miss Friends..... anyways.... 

Allesandro. Cave Man...... and so disrepectful.

Did you see the part at the end!?!? Him saying that he DATED HIS THIRD COUSIN?!?!? AND HES A GYPSY KING?!?!?  This dude is NUTS.

ughh.... I wish he was still on to say more about his gypsy life. 
you know I love me some gypsies.

thank God the cry baby finally was sent home to his son

it was getting extremely uncomfortable to watch him sob every 5 minutes, especially because he looks like a 12 year old himself so the fact that he has a child was a bit alarming. 

Ok, who is the dude I keep seeing in the background with the ponytail???

and who is this one that hasn't spoken a single word?? 

and when can I steal Emily's friend and have her come hit on my boyfriend and make him uncomfortable while I laugh hysterically? 

she was amazing. 

Of course the 5 minutes I missed of my homegirls Kathy Lee + Hoda were the most awkward ones ever.  Kathy Lee asked Martin Short about his wife, who passed away two years ago.

I completely love that they booze at 10 am, but yikes, maybe keep it limited to a glass because that is beyond uncomfortable.  Horrible. 


I can't get over how damn attractive of a couple Peta + Maksim from DWTS are together.

look at their bodies!? life is just not fair. 


You all know that Andy Cohen is my favorite human being in the entire world, and basically every episode of WWHL is better than the last.  But last week's WWHL with Adam Lambert and Beth Ditto takes the cake.  I didn't even know who she was, but man was this the best gay duo trio I've ever seen in my life. 

discussing which food best resembles the size of their nip's.
if that sentence doesn't make you want to watch it, you need to see someone.
I was laughing harder than when I watch one of my friends fall, which obviously is always inappropriately loud and long. 


{ps. I had a dream last night that Andy Cohen had a stage act in Vegas right next to Jerry Seinfeld, and I finally convinced my mom Nance-Pants to go on a big trip with all of the kids as long as we promised to see shows every night. 
 I need help.} 


Katy Perry looks COMPLETELY different without make-up on.

Not bad, just shockingly like an innocent 14 year old. 


The RHOOC in Mexico Costa Rica is amazing.
Thank God for Heather for adding some intelligence and sanity to this group. 

Vicki seriously needs to be in a mental institution.  I felt like I was drunk while watching this episode trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about? 

was she wasted the entire time? she went from anus conversations to love tank talk and back to anus, up and down, and all over the place?? 

via
Alexis was dressed like she was going to film a porn with an African Safari theme to go zip lining.  {and this woman has her own clothing line? who buys this stuff??}

via
And Alexis, I don't know everything, but I'm willing to bet my life that NO ONE, no matter if a car is worth 5,000 or 500,000 can re-sell a car for MORE than they paid for it.  Cars do not appreciate in value?!? What??!! I was actually thrilled when they all ganged up on her.  But I'm mean like that, and my gosh does Jesus Barbie drive me insane.

{oh and side note, I have wanted to go to Costa Rica and zip line for so long, but ever since the girl did it and got flesh eating virus in GA a few weeks ago I am freaking out.}

I'm in love with Nookie on Around The World in 80 Plates. 

yep... that's all. 


Mary-Kate is dating a 42 year old??

I don't care if he is the former French President's brother.  
That is just wrong. and he's not even a hot 42?? 


I was beginning to think the Scientology crazies hadn't completely taken over Katie Holmes brain when I saw her drinking a beer and relaxing with a book

but no... just a scene for a movie.  
still an alien. 




xoxo