Thursday, January 3, 2013

Coffee Talk

discuss amongst ya-selves......

well, there haven't been too many new episodes of shows with the holiday break to discuss, but good lord a lot of celebrity couple gossip has been going on.

I feel as though I should start with KimYe, because obviously the two most important and egotistical people in the world deserve to be spoken about first.
 sweet new years outfit kim. just beautiful. 
seriously who does she pay to dress her???
Hearing about this baby for the next however-many months is going to
 drive. me. insane.  She will undoubtedly act like the first pregnant human being in the entire world.  And I'm SURE we have a nude preggo magazine cover coming very soon.
This is how I'm already feeling about it:
Oh! and it's already been announced that the baby will be appear on E! as well. No doubt in shoes that could feed hundreds for months!
 Another crazy, egotistical, useless, famous for nothing Kardashian is born!
sorry.... I may have gone too far there?
the Kardashians get me all kinds of riled up.  
the family in all white? HA!!! that's a good one. 
I hope she gives birth while still married to Mr. Humprhies :)

we discussed J. Simps inevitable 19 month pregnancy during the last Coffee Talk, and I promise I won't make this a baby-only edition, but this photo needs some commentary immediately.
the only thing worse than 16 year old girls selfies in the car shots?
thirty year old unmarried and pregnant in a bikini in the bathroom.

justin beiber spent NYE being obnoxious.
just what every girl wants, an underage skinny boy showing his tiny frame!
first you perform at the Victoria's Secret show, which should definitely be illegal, and ruin my oogling of models with your girly voice and horrible live music (on the radio, i occasionally enjoy you).  and now you continue your douche tour with staring at your skinny pre-pubescent abs and weird belly button?  And I'm sorry, is that a TATOO on your hip I see?? The most feminine location possible?! 


taylor + harry.
she just shouldn't be allowed to ever discuss relationships
blah giggles blah i'm so in love blah 
she says 13 is her lucky number so she's feeling good about 2013!!!
 yay!!! 
maybe it'll be the number of people she falls in love with this year too? 

a couple that doesn't disgust me?
channing and jenna of course.
so damn cute
I figured I should say something nice at this point. 

hugh hefner and crystal harris wed
I still don't understand how you can get back together after you call off the wedding and go around bashing someone in the press and calling them impotent? but I also don't understand sleeping with someone 60 years older than myself so I guess I'll drop it.  

bethenney and jason's divorce is making me so sad.
sure, season 3 of Bethenney Ever After was a pretty good indication that things were not too happy in their apartment.  but i just love him so much.  I was hoping she was finally going to "break the chain" with him as she says. 

The Bachelor starts on sunday,
and while I couldn't care less about The Bachelor, we all know I will watch every single episode.   The crazy girls make each episode oh so exciting. 
why is this girls face blurred out in the back row for the promo pic?
so strange??  
the previews look like the girls are absolutely NUTS this season, 
I. cant. wait. 

I also cannot wait for these 2 to host the Golden Globes
awards season is almost here! 
the greatest time of the year other than season finale time! 

this photo of anne hathaway and valentino on a ski lift just cracks me up
so unnatural but adorable at the same time? 

Random - but when did Hoda and her boyfriend break up?!?
I've finally been able to watch my favorite hour of the Today show and I realized she was spending NYE with her sister and seemed sad.
:( she was so happy with him, anyone have any news? 

and with constant talk of new years resolutions,
these skinny celebrities vacationing in fabulous locations makes me want to curl up in the fetal position with a big mac. 




ughhh I hate everyone. 
OH WAIT! I've made a resolution to be more positive this year!
Ignore everything I have said in this post. 
What genetically blessed and lucky human beings! Good for them! 

xoxo

11 comments:

  1. I have missed you. Why does everyone on the Bachelor have on a prom dress? I cannot deal.

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  2. It's rare for me to find a blog where I feel immediately compelled to page through as many entries as I can after reading the first one because I am so entertained. You are definitely the excpetion to that rule. Everything you said is so, so hilarious and so, so true. I'll deifnitely be back!

    Natalie
    Name's Not Ashley

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  3. 1. Kim's dress is AWFUL. I can't wait to see what the baby will look like though. haha
    2. J. Simps posing with those lips like that should be illegal. WHY??
    3. Hugh and Crystal...also really don't get it. The world is a strange place indeed.
    4. Can't wait for The Bachelor!!
    5. I wanna be skinny and vacationing somewhere hot too. Oh the life of the rich and famous...

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  4. UMM.. this couldn't be funnier! My thoughts exactly. I just can't get the whole Hef + Crystal idea through my head.. ew.

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  5. oh how i have missed you tayo! every single word here is true...but how did i miss that hoda and her man are over?! looooove your kardashian commentary and hate all the famous people with amazing bodies in amazing places. thank you for making my day, coffee talk.

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  6. Oh my gosh --- this is the best thing I have read all day. I get so excited when I see Coffee Talk in my blogger inbox :)
    And I totally agree about KimYe. Just barf city. Almost more annoying then Rihanna + Chris.
    xo - Marion

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  7. Taylor - your blog is one of my favorites and such a fun read! Seriously, I laugh out loud during so many of your posts. p.s. I'm a Miami Alum, too (2007) and a sorority sis of Allison at Tartan & Sequins (I found out about your blog through T&S!).
    I can't wait for your Bachelor commentary - bring on the crazies!!
    ~ Meredith :)

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  8. I hate that Bethenny and Jason spilt but saw that coming. She was so demanding and obnoxious to him. Jessica's bump picture is as bad as her saying she couldnt wait to have sex and that is why she got knocked up- gross and trust me no one wants to have sex three months after having a baby- idiot. So happy for Nick and Vanessa though. Why is Jessica Alba so skinny? About to go puke the bagel I just ate. Damn her.

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  9. SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!! OK A. the bachelor is from Dallas and keeps popping up everywhere..not that I have seen him, but my friends and even husband spotted him out. Ok is Olivia Palermo's belly button pierced?? What face is J Simpson making? That pic is almost as dumb as that one of Bieber. Your comments about the Victoria's Secret show are EXACTLY how I felt! But seriously..whyyy is he showing off his gross, skinny body!! It makes me feel really gross. That Anne Hathaway/ Valentino picture made me laugh out loud for some reason. I am devastated about Bethenny! I really tried to deny that things were shaky, but obvs things really haven't gone to well for the Hoppy's. Andddd I was DYING when I heard about Kimye's baby! My friends and I were saying maybe she did it on purpose?? xoxo

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  10. That girl in the back row, with her face blurred, someone just said its a girl who used to play the character Lauren on Days of Our Lives. She said that she was engaged, and the guy got pissed when he found out she was on the show, during her engagement. he freaked out and broke up with her. Shes trying to tell him that she never did the show, but the proof is all over the place, and he caught her lying to him. She has her lawyer friends to sue the producers, and blur her off the photos and edit her out of the show. That's just the rumor though.

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  11. Kim Kardashian should know better than to cry...ever. She has the worst crying face and since her every move is documented on tv or in the press, she should just learn to hold back the tears haha.

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